Grey Suit Black Tie

Wednesday December 30 2009.

We write the water because it’s always changing. - May 8 2008.

I find letting something I’ve started sit in anticipation (even if I’m the only one who feels it’s open-ended) leaves me with a weight of unease. Putting an official stop to it gives me less to consider. I sat down to type this note and deny all that sits below. I was ready to denounce it as the musings of an unrecognizable heart; underdeveloped thoughts, or reflections of thought, fueled by a fearful, conflicted soul. I do agree with this assessment of my work and recognize its prior tarnished nature, but the seed of all that interests me is there. I found I’d been circling. this was a surprise to find amongst the underdeveloped text which now begs to be clarified. I can’t do this in a formal way, but what holds my preoccupations is carried into my current work; what is useful has pronounced itself.  In my aspiring naivete I found escape, stumbling into place, inevitability, motion; there are cars parked outside graveyards, owls out in churches, hymns catching one’s ear, a general draw to the sea. There is assault and resistance. Some of it approaches truth. I suppose most cognitive individuals circulate these themes.

There have been seven good months since I last had the urge to put something up here. I imagine the delay results from a sentiment that it hasn’t felt necessary. Like Tsypkin, I’ve been working on something more substantial; something dripping steps onto the floor. With it’s arrival an unaccounted-for restlessness has subsided. I have no intention to get distracted from it by any other form of creativity until it pronounces itself. Nothing I have written within the last months will fit here and I won’t write anything specifically for it. If something sticks out or makes itself known as a representation of this process I may post it. I am reading everyone in the meantime. Send recommendations if you have them. Know that they will be seriously considered. It may add up to nothing beyond pages surrounding my feet. I believe that it will work it’s way out of me in some form. Thanks.